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Thursday, January 19th, 2017
10:05 pm - The great grey beast 2017.
Hi diary,

I am going to the Women's March on Washington on Saturday and I have a very bad head cold.

I don't have much else to say today.


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Sunday, January 18th, 2015
2:12 pm
Abby is here, visiting!

It's official: after three years of threatening to quit, I quit a month ago. May is my last month in the classics department. I have grad school applications (MFA Studio Art, duh) in at OSU, University of Georgia, VCU, West Virginia U, University of Oregon, Arizona State, and Colorado State. The boyfriend is coming with me, if I get in somewhere. Sergio says he put my application forward for printmaking, but OSU is currently broke* so I have no guarantee. If I get in nowhere I might try to intern with the Women's Studio Workshop in Kingston, one of our painting & drawing profs here worked there for more than nine years. If I do get into grad school, I'm trying to figure out a way to get money to go to Greece for part of it. I think there might be a way to cobble together Fulbright, the American School of Classical Studies at Athens, and the Athens print shop. A lot of my work has been tying old Greek stuff to the Greek financial crisis, and it would be good to get over there and be more informed. But I am off to pursue art, whatever happens, next year. Keep your fingers crossed for me--the MFA has to happen if I'm going to teach printmaking, and I'd rather get it over with soon so I can stop being a perpetual grad student.

*$1.5 billion hospital, $444 million dorms, bloated administration. OSU has maxed out its credit. Bad bad.


Sunday, October 13th, 2013
11:35 am - #3

I don't have a ton to say about session #3. Which is why I'm posting it over a week late. It went fine! I went back to my old pre-tattoo ritual of actually making sure I got enough sleep and not drinking the night before, and it helped a LOT. Or maybe it was because I bumped myself up to two thirds of a muscle relaxer instead of half. Or maybe because this session wasn't giant fields of solid black, so the skin wasn't getting reworked as much. Or I sat three instead of four hours. The pain was a LOT more manageable than last session, anyway. The panther and snake heads are both finished, which is pretty exciting. It also means that the most exciting part of the tattoo is done, so I think next sessions results won't feel as dramatic, just creeping towards completion. I'm guessing three more sessions? ~10.5 hours in and halfway done.

In general I think I spent the whole trip exhausted--I left right after moving both of my roommates in, and in the middle of a litho project--and I'm not super looking forward to the next one either. I'm too busy to abscond to New York every month!! Seriously guys, I don't know if I've ever been this busy--I'm putting in six twelve-hour days a week and going out a lot. I think I need to cut back on the bar-going, as I'm having a hard time fitting in drawing and the gym. My abs are gone and I'm eating like shit because I'm on the clif bar and takeout diet, and I noticed rather grumpily Friday that even though I'm spending thirty hours a week "doing art," 95% of litho is fussy craft. I basically do one drawing and trace it a bunch of times. So yesterday I painted a wolf and felt better. Not complaining about the busyness either--I don't think I've EVER had as much satisfaction from what I'm doing before. My Latin class is enjoyable and Myth is very much my job that is 'just a job,' and even if it is keeping me from doing some of the shit I like to do, spending 30 hours a week in the print lab is AWESOME. If you want me to talk your ear off, just ask me about printmaking.

The roommate situation is working out pretty well--the cats are definitely happier, and it's just nice to have people around. We all cook, so the food situation here is pretty awesome. The place is coming together, and I think taking this place back and a couple roommates was a way better move than another shitty studio. And my rent is now $395. I was talking about jobs with Abby last night, and I'm pretty sure the cost of living/quality of life I have in Columbus is probably going to keep me here a while. Yep, I fell into THAT trap. Getting out of Columbus has seemed a lot less pressing lately, anyway. Though it's still summer here somehow, and my mood might change the second the weather gets crappy.

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Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012
7:01 pm
Snake-charming tiger! 

Today's sort of a wash.


6:11 pm
erman-blixt tiger by semele1
erman-blixt tiger, a photo by semele1 on Flickr.

This is the sort of thing I'm imagining for my back.

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Monday, May 28th, 2012
10:34 am - Oh fuck tattoos.
I fucking hate healing tattoos. That is all.

Today: work. Tomorrow: Teaching, paper progress (I have thus far made none) presentation for Anthony's seminar. Then sleep.

Took Friday and Saturday off from the gym to let my hugely swollen arm do its thing, but dropped in for about a half hour yesterday afternoon to do some quick lower body work. I didn't mess with my arm at all, except to do some pull ups. Today and tomorrow are also off so I can work. Hopefully by Wednesday I'll have something closer to a normal forearm and less dry, tight, burning leather.


Friday, May 11th, 2012
3:13 pm - Bird butt and my elbow is a sunset.
Untitled by semele1
Untitled, a photo by semele1 on Flickr.



3:11 pm - Eagle.
session two top by semele1
session two top, a photo by semele1 on Flickr.

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Sunday, April 15th, 2012
11:57 am - Metaling it up in here.
Dan: So you're pumped for tomorrow?
me: Yes.
I am listening to Mastodon in preparation.
I think there is approximately four more minutes of this that I can take.
Dan: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

That is the appropriate response.


Thursday, March 22nd, 2012
2:42 pm
Tattoo ideas:
1) The other sleeve should be water-based, and should involve a pelican and a lobster.  I will have Seth Wood do it.
2) A Dave Cook drawing of something, somewhere.
3) Japanese mythological creatures: I want an itsumade and a baku.  Maybe this will be how I fill in my back eventually.
4) Mandala armpits.  This is either the best or worst idea ever.
5) I have to get a tiger eventually.


Friday, March 16th, 2012
12:02 am
At my mother's, cleaning out my shit from middle school.  Remember my Hot Topic goth phase?  Not only did I buy a lot of black t-shirts with writing on them, I taped the price tags to my wall, so I got to relive those purchases tonight.  I wasted lots of $16s.  

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Tuesday, March 13th, 2012
12:38 am - Disposition.
Really feeling the Barthes tonight; from "Tacitus and the Funerary Baroque."

Death: "The idea here is not the product of reduction but of repetition."
"For [Tacitus] the past is an hallucination, an obsessional theater, a scene even more than a lesson: death is a protocol."
"We can tell from certain vibrations of the sentence that each victim knew he was dying."
"The act outshines its cause: there is no distinction between murder and suicide."

Mostly I like how he insists on taking all the deaths in the Annals collectively--the power of all these individual obituaries is really in their number.  I agree with Barthes, at least until he starts talking about terrorism and bean plants, but this of course fucks my thesis.  Not that I have to agree with my thesis, but it sure helps.

I've drawn lines on myself with a sharpie to try to figure out where to end my sleeve.  I've got a wrist bone line, 1" above the wrist,1.5", 1.75," and 2".  My forearms are so short 2" looks really far from the wrist and kind of weird.  I'd say the wrist is completely out, just from sitting here in a sweater with very long sleeves--no way to cover that unless I wear huge heaps of bracelets--1" looks best, but both 1.5" and 1.75" seem acceptable.  So tomorrow I'll wear work clothes and see which lines show.  I am obviously creating a professional obstacle for myself by getting a forearm tattoo of any length, but I don't want to fuck myself over too much.  
Back to work.


Monday, February 20th, 2012
6:49 pm
Survey was canceled today again, so I just taught my Latin class, went to friend Chelsea's masters thesis defense, and headed to the gym. In Latin we read some Catullus and told some stories. My students were bored by Catullus but love Martial, which is... fair, actually. Martial = funny, Catullus is really only funny compared to much of Latin literature. Thesis defense went fine, she passed, and ten teenage girls from her high school Latin class came to support her. It reminded me of going to Frau Bau's wedding.

Ran home, laid down for a bit--really shitty night of sleep, again, and went to the gym. It looks like six days a week is my routine for now. Probably five is more ideal--I'm pretty shot--but if I make Mondays an all cardio day and Wednesdays an all weight day or something, it might even out. I ran a touch over four miles today in forty minutes, which is the furthest I've ever gone, and it wasn't so terrible. I could probably do five if I have to (and I have to, if I'm going to run 6.7 in two months) but I was very tired and sweaty afterwards. My attempts at weights were sort of pathetic. I chatted with the guy that runs the place, who is both very friendly and one of the most amazingly athletic people I've ever met. Pretty much every time I see that guy work out, I'm in a good mood. I'm going to need to get faster, though, because I can't imagine running for much longer than forty minutes without getting very bored.

I have gained some weight, real weight, about six pounds in the eight or so weeks I've been back in the gym/Ohio. Most of it in the last three. Goddamn is gaining muscle weight hard. I'm doing pretty well, I think, but I'm really working at it. Probably need to start thinking more about diet. I'm doing high protein/fat and slightly lower carb, but I'm not being amazingly careful about it. I thought for approximately two seconds about trying the primal diet, just because it is something ridiculous that I could do, but that sounds like no fun whatsoever.

Been trying to think up what I would put on a Gene Wolfe inspired flash sheet since yesterday, but I'm drawing total blanks apart from Terminus Est and the homunculus in a jar from Citadel of the Autarch. I can imagine big Wolfe-inspired scenes, but something small and specific enough to tattoo is hard. Trying to remember the bit with the jar also just reminded me that I need to reread that over break. I've read Shadow & Claw four or five times, but I've only made it through the end of Sword and Citadel twice, and I'm forgetting a lot.

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Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
8:59 pm
So, I went to see Ron Swanson after survey last night with a new friend from my department. It was good--not I'm dying from constantly laughing hilarious like some stand-up shows, but it was basically a cool and funny guy talking for an hour and a half. Ohio State was the first stop on his tour of all the colleges, so I think the material was still a little rough. I greatly enjoyed the abundance of woodworking jokes, and have spent the past day feeling guilty about never having built a table, but at least I can say that I've done stained glass. Thank you summer camp.

It was a good time; chatted a bit about hobbies, and about how I should not date anyone in the department, and then immediately which men in the department I should date. New friend then moved on to people in adjacent departments, but I need to figure out a way to meet people who are not all graduate students. Or are at least not graduate students in anything closely related to what I do--maybe mad scientists? I feel like science is the opposite of classics. Sorry classics. I pitched Book of the New Sun, which is what I do whenever anyone I meet has the slightest interest in, well, reading.

Got home at about 10:40, which was clearly too late to do work, but it took me too long to unwind. I went to bed around 12:30, realized happily that it was now comfortable to lie on my right side, and woke up wired at 1:30. Never really made it back to sleep, except to have a weird divorce-related somewhat lucid nightmare. These nightmares are not about fighting or whatever, but actually feeling sad about it all the time again. It's very weird to suddenly have a 20-something life, instead of the real adult life (for lack of a better term) I had for a while, but I am moving on...

Today was somewhat sleep-deprived.

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Monday, January 30th, 2012
2:45 pm
Today was supposed to be a super miserable catch up on work day, but I happened to be in the office at just the right time to hear, "does anyone want a free ticket to see Nick Offerman tonight?" Of course I do? I'm not sure my brain realizes that he is not actually Ron Swanson. So I'm doing that instead of reading 1000 lines of Lucretius after survey.

Went to the gym during my lunch break, like I always do on Monday, and had my first non-lame workout since Wednesday.

That is all.

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Sunday, January 29th, 2012
11:03 pm
The worst part is definitely the itching. Things I am a huge baby about: dentists, nausea, presentations on philosophical subjects, itches one cannot scratch or stick bandaids on.


4:56 pm
Healing; only the outline is raised and dry-feeling, the rest just feels like ordinary skin and Aquaphor. It hasn't started peeling yet, but it's beginning to itch. Ten more days of sideways showering.

Lame workouts the past two days, due to skin sensitivity, but still some progress: I've moved up to the 12lb medicine ball and am doing 5 sets of 15 reps with bicep curls instead of 10. Still stuck on the 20lb barbell, though. I am definitely not gaining weight, but I at least no longer feel like I'm getting smaller.

My friend Larissa officially quit the program last week. Apparently the new policy is that if you've passed your language exams at the MA level, you don't need to write a thesis for the MA. This gives me a bit more time to decide what I'm doing next year, as I'm completely through with masters-level work. If I stay, I have a slightly higher chance at summer funding for this year, and I've stopped hating Columbus now that I actually have friends. If I leave, I don't actually think I'll return to New York unless I find a Latin job there, but I'll probably head south. I am thinking Miami or New Orleans, even though I don't know anyone in either place anymore. I think if I stay for a third year, it's less because I want the PhD and more because changing absolutely everything in my life in one year seems a bit much.

The weird euphoria that stuck around for over a week after my sister left went away, but I'm still doing pretty okay. I have enough money to get through the rest of the school year without needing a roommate or losing my place, so I have at least another few months without having to worry about that particular problem. I am aware that I'm not 100% back to normal--I still feel pretty apathetic about work and I'm distracted enough that I keep losing things.* Still, I have more confidence than I've had in years, and I'm having fun again. Went to an incredibly shitty bar last night with friends and still had a good time. It's still weird to think that five months ago I had a neat little life path and now I have pretty much nothing stable, but that nothing is not actually terrible. I kind of feel like I am in my mid-twenties. Deciding to finally get that tattoo helped, I'm sure, and now that I've got an artist and a shop again, I'll probably start planning the next one. And since I'm not eighteen anymore, I can have ideas without tattooing them the next day, so this is a somewhat safer hobby than it used to be. I guess my old tattoos are sort of like knick-knacks, and I love my knick-knacks, but now I'm buying furniture and that requires a lot more thought, especially since I have to fit it in with all of the little pieces I have currently and might want later. Basically I'm thinking half sleeve, but I will probably move before I do anything, so it'll be a while yet. I have moved up in the hilarious social hierarchies of both tattoo shops and my gym this year: I've gone from "this is your aftercare" to "do you want to hear your aftercare again" to "what do you use for aftercare?" and one of the gym bros gave me a thumbs up yesterday. I guess an arm tattoo would be like when gym people start asking you to spot for them or something**, but still way beneath whatever sort of tattoo cred you get for something that can't be covered up, but that is not a level I ever intend to reach. Basically, at the moment being divorced is kind of working for me.

*In the last seven days alone: four pairs of new (thankfully $1) tights, my umbrella, and an earring.
**Of course I would be really surprised if anyone ever asked me to spot them. I can lift... the bar.


Tuesday, January 17th, 2012
2:10 pm
Minor victories: +3 pounds, and one of my best students asked me to write them a recommendation letter. This letter will easily be the most time-consuming part of my work week, but I am very flattered. I am also looking forward to the job talk this afternoon; the topic is something about corpses.


Saturday, January 14th, 2012
1:25 pm - Things that did not suck about 2011.
1. Avatar: The Last Airbender
2. Breaking Bad
3. Firefly

1. Hyperion, Dan Simmons
2. The Last Unicorn, Peter S. Beagle
3. A Song of Ice and Fire, George RR Martin
4. Delphi and Olympia, Michael Scott.

As usual, I am late to all of these parties, but whatever. I've babbled to everyone about how much I loved Avatar, so I won't do it again, but seriously, watch it. Breaking Bad I recommend to anyone that liked the Wire. They're similar in that they both involve drugs, are popular dramas, and have very tightly crafted first two seasons.* Maybe not that similar, but might appeal to the same people. But doesn't everyone like the Wire? I love how ugly everything in Breaking Bad is, except for maybe Jesse Pinkman's perfect teeth. I'd never noticed anyone's teeth in a positive way before, so they must be special. The third season has some of the best episodes, but also one of the worst filler episodes I've ever seen in anything. Not as good overall. People seem to have been nuts about the fourth season; I'll see it when it winds up on Netflix.

It took me multiple tries over seven years or whatever to get into Firefly--I usually don't care about things in space,** so I had to like Buffy first and approach it from that angle. It was fun and it's too bad it didn't get a second season. I still think Serenity sucked. It didn't do it for me either as an ending for Firefly or a regular action movie.

Books are not in order of preference. Song of Ice and Fire gobbled up my summer reading. I think by the end of Storm of Swords I desperately wanted to read something else, but couldn't stop until I finished the series. I really hope GRRM kills off some of my favorite characters in the next book. Hyperion I loved, and it reminded me vaguely of Fifth Head of Cerberus, which is maybe my favorite book. If I've spoken to you in the last month, I probably recommended it. The Last Unicorn is just so beautiful it makes me cry, especially the bit about books written by rabbits. Delphi and Olympia is a work book. The premise: buildings at Panhellenic sanctuaries are in competition with each other. This sounds very obvious, but "spatial politics" is now how I solve all of my seminar papers.

Honorable mentions: Game of Thrones (some of the writing is lazy), the Chrestomanci books (Diana Wynne Jones, a reread, so doesn't count), Atonement (Ian McEwan), The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins). Atonement I did not expect to like but did. The Hunger Games I expected to like more than I did, but suspect I would have loved it in middle school. Battle Royale does it better.

*The Wire had four practically flawless seasons, but whatever. My favorite is the second--when we were divvying up the DVDs, Dan and I both tried to trick the other into taking the first season to keep the second for ourselves. I wound up with both.

**I still haven't found a way to like Battlestar Galactica.

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Friday, January 13th, 2012
4:23 pm
Friday the 13th means $13 "13" tattoos. One day I may do it, but only if I can get it too look just like Red XIII's.


Tuesday, January 10th, 2012
7:27 pm - Well then.
Had a ridiculously fun time last night with Abby--we went to happy hour and got horribly and unexpectedly drunk. I had to go to bed at eight o'clock, and was hungover this morning, but it was worth it. I may be over my manhattan phase. It was the happiest I have been in an unthinkably long time.

Today was more bad news: my grandmother, who had a brain tumor removed this August, had a seizure last night and does not seem to be doing that well today. My grandmother's biggest vanity is her high IQ and SAT scores (she talks about them a lot) so it is very difficult to see her so mentally fuzzy.

Before that, my sister came out last Wednesday and stayed through the weekend to keep me company. We had a nice time, and didn't do too much other than go out to eat a lot and watch endless episodes of How I Met Your Mother. I took her to the weirdest Ohio restaurant I know of--an incredible Thai place located inside a Quality Inn next to the Anheuser-Busch brewery. Saw the American version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo--I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. It was a lot less like the Swedish film than the trailer sets it out to be. There are some echoes, but this one was a closer adaptation of the book, and it had a lot more dialogue and comedy. I liked it better than the Swedish one, despite Rooney Mara not being Noomi Rapace. I do think Mara fits my mental image of Lisbeth Salander a bit better. Nobody in that film ever seemed to decide what a Swedish accent should sound like, but this was less distracting than it could have been since I also have no real idea. Swedish just sounds difficult to me.

I've been having a bit of trouble with my weight since October--I've lost somewhere between five and seven pounds, and despite eating terrible foods a lot, I'm not gaining it back. I've cut out all of my cardio except for a one mile jog, and I spend the rest of my gym time with weights, but the scale isn't budging. If I get any smaller, I will not have anything to wear, and that is not good. I bought a pair of 0P pants from Loft over the summer that fit perfectly, but now those are practically falling off and the 00P, a size I have not seen since seventh grade, is a bit loose--I really want my butt back. This is getting ridiculous.

Back to Netflix.

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Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
10:07 pm - Woe woe woe.
Well, damn if that wasn't a pretty difficult twenty-eight hours right there. Dan came, he left. The marriage was dissolved, I changed my name--the judge wouldn't do it, offered to hyphenate or let me take my maiden name* but not give me something brand spanking new. It was okay though, albeit $138 more expensive this way--a trip to probate court and the newspaper office took maybe fifteen minutes combined, because Ohio is small and people are helpful here. The probate guy was way nice.

Here's to a better tomorrow!

*We seriously still call it that on legal documents?

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Thursday, January 28th, 2010
9:32 am - AHHHHHH!!!!
I got into OSU.

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Thursday, December 18th, 2008
7:54 pm
Does anyone have an IUD? Do you like it? Are you and your IUD friends? I keep hearing horror stories about the insertion, but I kind of still want one. But I don't know if I want the hormonal kind or the non-hormonal kind.

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Monday, November 24th, 2008
7:35 pm - Printers.
Does anyone have a really good printer that they would recommend? I realized today (for the ten thousandth time) that I am in desperate need of a new printer. It doesn't have to do anything fancy, but good color printing would be nice.


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